New MTV Poll: St. Anger by Metallica Best Metal Album Ever
St. Anger by Metallica has been named the greatest heavy metal album of all time. The staff of MTV, Rolling Stone, Broadway World, Portable Restroom Operator Magazine and Popular Mechanics all teamed up to compile the ultimate list of heavy metal albums.
Metal fans all over the world were outraged when the list dropped. Grown men were crying and re-evaluating their lives. Burly men in denim and leather were signing up for therapy sessions. A man wearing leather arm spikes was on his knees outside of Ozzy Osbourne’s house vomiting and screaming “Why Me ” over and over. Grief counselors were brought in to help ease the pain.
Good Grief
The list of the top 50 heavy metal albums angered, shocked and dismayed many metal fans because St. Anger by Metallica was at the top of the list. It beat out albums by Van Halen, Black Sabbath, Pantera, Slayer, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, Led Zeppelin, Guns N’ Roses and even other classic albums by Metallica.
St. Anger is a controversial choose because many fans hated the album. Metal Head Matt Fowler told Madhouse News, “This list is the worst. St. Anger can bite my butt, it is literally Metallica’s worst album. It is like an experiment gone wrong. Kind of like what has been going on in the world the last few years. Every song is like ten minutes long. There are no guitar solos on the album and the drums sound like they were recorded on a cacophonous trash can. When I listened to it, I prayed to be stricken deaf. I now know what Vietnam was like.”
Lars
Lars Ulrich felt vindicated by the list. “Finally” exclaimed Lars. “I have been saying this for years. The album was misunderstood and way ahead of its time. The world still has not caught up to St. Anger. It could be 100 years from now before we catch up. Beethoven was misunderstood in his day as well. St. Anger does not suck, you do! It finally got you sonsofbitches to stop downloading our music though, didn’t it.”
Fan Denise Pinkard stated, “This list is truly unbearable. Actually I don’t know what is worse, this list or St. Anger. Having St. Anger is bad enough but then Lulu by Metallica is number three on the list. Are you kidding me? It was rated higher than Master of Puppets and Paranoid by Sabbath to name but a few. The military uses these albums as torture methods and this list puts them in the top 3. I am not feeling well, I must lay down.”
Top 50 Heavy Metal Albums of All Time – by MTV
- St. Anger – Metallica
- Reign In Blood – Slayer
- Lulu – Metallica
- Master of Puppets – Metallica
- South Of Heaven – Slayer
- Load – Metallica
- Paranoid – Black Sabbath
- Seasons In The Abyss – Slayer
- British Steel – Judas Priest
- The Number Of The Beast – Iron Maiden
- Peace Sells…But Who’s Buying? – Megadeth
- Dirt – Alice in Chains
- Blizzard of Ozz – Ozzy Osbourne
- AC/DC – Back in Black
- Aenima – Tool
- Appetite for Destruction – Guns n Roses
- Cowboys From Hell – Pantera
- ReLoad – Metallica
- Sabbath Bloody Sabbath – Black Sabbath
- Led Zeppelin II – Led Zeppelin
- Danzig – Danzig
- Ride The Lightning – Metallica
- Korn – Korn
- Iowa – Slipknot
- Diary of a Madman – Ozzy Osbourne
- Ace of Spades – Motorhead
- Women and Children First – Van Halen
- Toxicity – System of a Down
- Holy Diver – Dio
- Machine Head – Deep Purple
- Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
- Among The Living – Anthrax
- AntiChrist Superstar – Marilyn Manson
- Melissa – Mercyful Fate
- Vivid – Living Colour
- Blackout – Scorpions
- Kill Em All – Metallica
- Master of Reality – Black Sabbath
- Wolverine Blues – Entombed
- And Justice For All – Metallica
- Emperor of Sand – Mastodon
- Vulgar Display of Power – Pantera
- Metallica (Black Album) – Metallica
- Morbid Tales – Celtic Frost
- Rust In Peace – Megadeth
- Pyromania – Def Leppard
- Chaos A.D – Sepultura
- Shout at the Devil – Motley Crue
- River Runs Red – Life of Agony
- Bonded by Blood – Exodus
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