Epic Interview with Axl Rose & Slash

A Balzac Interview with Axl Rose & Slash. Infamous Rock journalist and internationally acclaimed interviewer Claude Balzac recently sat down for an in depth conversation with the legendary guitarist and singer for Guns N’ Roses, Axl Rose & Slash.

Madhouse Magazine: Hi Guys, thanks for hanging with me today. It is great to see you again.

Axl: Great to see you Claude. Last time we saw you was during the Spaghetti incident. You ate Duff’s “spaghetti” and started hallucinating. You ran naked through an Arizona golf resort. They found you hiding in the ice machine half frozen.

Madhouse: Yeah I lost a toe from frost bite. Great times. Axl you have been in the news a lot. You had som issues with your neighbors for doing naked yard work

Axl: Hey I like to walk around au natural. I like to let my boys swing in the breeze. Lil Axl needs some air too man. The neighbors can kiss my fat arse. They better buckle up today because I plan on doing some lunges, deep knee bends and then weed whacking.

Slash

Madhouse: Slash we hear you shaved your head after a bet with Lenny Kravitz.

Slash: Yeah I lost so I shaved my head. I donated the locks to Jada Pinkett. This is a wig I am wearing right now that I bought from party city. You could never tell right.

Madhouse: It looks great. Axl what the heck is up with Bucket head?

Axl: Oh man that dude is a weirdo. I regret the break up and Chinese Democracy is trash. Slash I will never take you for granted again.

Slash: Thanks bro, I love you man but you are still the biggest PITA I ever met in my life.

Madhouse: Slash, you attend a lead singer support group?

Slash: Yeah Joe Perry started it. A bunch of guitarists who have had to put up with PITA lead singers get together and share our stories and eat donuts. Experts say that being around a diva lead singer for a long time is like being in a War. Some of the guys have PTSD.

Interview With Axl Rose & Slash

Madhouse: What is Izzy Stradlin up to now?

Axl: I still don’t know why he quit the band but I hear he is doing well. We get along great though, I see him all the time. He works at the McDonald’s near my house. He serves those french fries very efficiently.

Madhouse: What about Steven Adler?

Axl: He works at the Burger King

Madhouse: Do you feel bad about throwing Steven out of the band?

Axl: No way, I want to hire him back in the band just so I can fire him again.

Madhouse: You were in hot water again for throwing mics into the crowd

Wolverine

Axl: For 30 years I had a tradition of throwing my microphone into the audience after all GNR shows. I never had an issue, until some slob in Australia got injured. I have always hated Australia. It is a country of weird, inbred convicts. They banned me from throwing my mic so I threw a large rabid wolverine into the crowd. The wolverine immediately attacked, bit and clawed seven fans in the front row as concert goers fled for the exits. A large security guard wrestled the wolverine to the ground. The guard got the animal into a chokehold and then escorted the beast out of the auditorium. I laughed and laughed. How you like me now Australia?

Madhouse: A lot of people joke that you look like Benny Hill and Throw Momma From the Train.

Axl: Yeah that don’t bother me. I love that movie and I love Benny Hill. I am actually going to star in a new biopic about Benny Hill. However, if you say I look like Bon Jovi, you will end up limping home. I hate that P*ssy.

Madhouse: Thank you guys, it is great to see you two getting along so well.

Slash & Axl: We love you Madhouse, keep making fun of us we love it. You should do some stories about the other guys though. They are a sad sack bunch of losers.