Jussie Smollett Reports To Jail & States He Is Ready To Party

Actor Jussie Smollett reported to jail this morning and told reporters, “Let’s get this party started. I am fierce, sexy and ready to party”.

Smollett was sentenced to five months in jail in connection with a fake hate crime attack he staged in 2019 in Chicago. Jussie was also sentenced to 30 months of probation in the case, along with a $25,000 fine and more than $120,000 in restitution to be paid to the city of Chicago in connection with the case. The judge also whipped him across the testicles with a car antennae.

Prince Akeem & Semmi

The sentence was handed down after Smollett was convicted on five of six felony counts of disorderly conduct, filed after he lied to police about a fake hate crime that he helped to orchestrate with the help of Prince Akeem and Semmi in Jan. 2019.

Jussie Smollett Reports To Jail & States He Is Ready To Party

Smollett told reporters, “At first I was upset about the verdict, but then I figured I might as well make the most of it. A building filled with muscular men. For me this is like a straight guy being sentenced to the playboy mansion. It’s going to be like a Club Med vacation for me. Bring on the dancing boys.”

Jussie plans to make the best of his time inside. “I am going to start a drama club and put on some shows and plays. I always wanted to do theater. The warden and I had a long conversation and he is on board with my ideas. I have a whole list of plays I want to do in here but I only have 150 days so I have to get started right away. La Cage Aux Folles, Guys n Dolls, Chorus Line and of course Cats will be first.”

Belle Of The Ball

Jussie continued, “I will be the belle of the ball inside. My dance card will be full at all times. There will be hot tub parties on Friday nights. That hot tub will look like a giant bowl of egg drop soup by the time my sentence is up. When life hands you lemons, suck them dry.”