John Mayer Wakes Up Naked In Trunk of Car In Bangkok After Answering Ad

Musician John Mayer found himself in a dangerous situation after answering a classified ad on Craigslist. 

When Mayer answered the ad on craigslist offering ‘Free Almonds’ he got a lot more than he bargained for. The seller located in North Carolina posted an ad with the headline “Free Almonds Need To Get Rid Of Quickly”.  The text of the ad then detailed “I accidentally ordered 50 pounds of almonds on Alexa. Taking any is appreciated. Must Pick Up.” 

I Love Nuts

Mayer told Madhouse News that he answered the ad and agreed to pick up the nuts that morning. “Who doesn’t love nuts” said Mayer. “I love nuts, especially free nuts, and almonds are my favorite. I was in North Carolina and I had a hankering for almonds, so I made the 2 hour drive. When I got there , I walk in and immediately felt something was amiss as the guy was wearing nothing but leather chaps and one of those pulp fiction masks. I figured what the heck, what is the worst that could happen So I hung out and taste tested the almonds and washed it down with some muscatel. The next thing I know 2 weeks have passed and I am naked in Bangkok.” 

John could not remember what happened, “I have vague fuzzy memories of my time in Thailand. It is really like one of those Hangover movies. I don’t remember seeing Zach Galifianakis though. I do however, have recollections of a monkey and some lady boys. How I ended up naked, bound and gagged in a car trunk is anyone’s guess.”

Thailand police along with the FBI, CIA and Interpol are investigating the incident. Inspector Lee Ho Phuk told Madhouse News, “What an idiot. Who answers an ad for free almonds. Especially when you are an international rock star. He could buy his own almonds.”

Bob Weir

Mayer stated that he often answers Craigslist ads. “I got my gig with The Grateful Dead through Craigslist. Bob Weir placed an ad for guitar players and I answered it. I have an ad of my own in Craigslist right now. I am starting a new brand with Harry Styles so we placed an ad. The ad says, ’Young men with unlimited capital looking for interesting…business proposals’. We did get a lot of weirdos answering that ad. Maybe I should reword it and put No weirdos.” 

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