After Getting Vaccine – Bon Jovi Still Sucks

Singer Jon Bon Jovi received the second dose of the vaccine over a month ago and his music, singing and songwriting still suck. 

“Dr. Fauci promised me that If I got the vax, it would improve my talent by 75%” said Jon Bon Jovi. “It’s been well over a month and if anything I suck more. I should have seen some improvement by now, but nothing. I have been wearing 3 masks and that didn’t help either. It’s very disappointing.”

Solo and as a band, Bon Jovi have been selling millions of albums since the 1980’s. Despite this, Jon knows his music sucks and it was only because he had good hair and there are a lot of dummies in the world, that he sold anything. 

“Yes of course, I know I suck” Jon told Madhouse News. “But there is nothing I can do about it. I am limited in every aspect as far as talent goes. Of course I would like to be cool, I would love to be able to write good music and lyrics but I just can’t do it. This was my last shot. No pun intended.”

There have been a few reports of side effects, but so far no one has reported an increase in talent or special skills. AC/DC guitarist Angus Young grew 2 feet taller after receiving the jab, but no increase in his guitar skills.  

Long time Bon Jovi fan Josh Murray tweeted, “I am very sad to hear this news. I had high hopes that I would be hearing some good music. I became a fan because he was cute and had nice hair. But come on man, did you hear the last album? It was the worst POS ever released. Jon’s hair is still nice though.”