Hank Azaria Vows to Visit Every 7-11 to Personally Apologize to Every Single Indian Person

In a recent interview with Madhouse News, Hank Azaria wept openly as he revealed that he is experiencing a major guilt trip over his role as Apu Nahasapeemapetilon on “The Simpsons”.

“I want to apologize to every single Indian person” wept Azaria. “I want to take every single Indian person in my arms and kiss them right on the lips.” 

When news of the nonsense hit social media, Azaria was mocked and ridiculed, as you would expect. When asked if he would donate the money he earned in his offensive portrayal of the Indian shopkeeper, Azaria laughed and said “Let’s not get ridiculous.”

To show that he is sincere, Azaria plans to take his groveling tour on the road and visit every one of the 8,500 7-11’s in the USA. “I want to show how deeply sorry I am” said Azaria. “All 7-11’s are owned by Indians right? So what better place to carry out my apology tour. I want to buy them all a slurpee and I want them to beat me. Hurt me, spit on me and whip my testicles. I deserve it.”

Azaria has been the voice of Apu, the owner of the Kwik-E-Mart for over 20 years before walking away. Azaria has a net worth of $90 million and plans to keep every penny of it. “I was pretty much drunk the whole time” said Azaria. “I can’t really be held responsible. But I do think  in the future actors should only play themselves.” 

Azaria also does the voices of Moe, Chief Wiggum, Comic Book Guy, African American Boxer Drederick Tatum, Spanish Bumblebee Man, Asian Akira and many other offensive characters. When asked if he needs to apologize for every one of those characters, Azaria replied, “Ah Fuk that, I am busy apologizing to Indians right now. Everyone can else can kiss my butt.”