Madonna Performs Cavity Searches On Fans To Prevent Cell Phones

Madonna has a strict no cell phone policy at all her concerts. The diva does not want any photos or video clips appearing on YouTube or social media. Madonna has gone to great lengths to ensure no cell phones make their way into her concerts. Some fans say, Madonna may have gone too far. 

Security confiscated all cell phones as fans entered the venue, but then Madonna personally performed a full body cavity search on every fan. The Queen of Pop got up close and personal with her fans. “This is much better than your average meet and greet, plus it’s free” giggled fan Matt Goss.

One fan Jason Nowlan commented, “You can never be too careful. If the only way I can get to see Madonna in concert is by having my anus probed, then count me in. It’s true that my rectum was left bleeding, but it was well worth it. Madonna even sang a verse of ‘Like a Virgin’ while she was penetrating me.”

Allen Chapman Jr. told Madhouse News that he was taken into a small room with no windows and suddenly Madonna swooped in. “She made me strip, squat and cough, then she jammed 2 fingers in my sphincter.  I really wasn’t expecting that. It was quite the shock. I am glad I had standing room only tickets after that.”

Madonna vs Cell Phones

Pamela Davis Hall was concerned that the cavity search took 11 minutes. “Madonna really did a thorough job on me. She had a flashlight and really got all up in there. I haven’t had this much fun since summer camp. This morning I found her wrist watch up there. That is some souvenir.”

Madonna will be doing a 3 night stint in Las Vegas and then touring through Spring. If you are going, be sure to bring a change of clothes.

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