James Hetfield Has Cameo in New Barbie Movie As GI Joe
James Hetfield has an epic cameo as GI Joe in the new Barbie movie. Move over Ken, because Hetfield, the iconic frontman of Metallica, is coming for your woman. Not only does Hetfield steal Barbie, but James also steals the show as the testosterone fueled hero with the Kung Fu grip.
The new Barbie movie is sure to be a blockbuster summer smash. The hype and marketing blitz has been off the charts. Margot Robbie plays the lead role and Ryan Gosling stars as Ken. The couple embark on a journey of self-discovery after their expulsion from the utopia of Barbieland.
James Hetfield Cameo in the new Barbie Movie
Barbie and Ken arrive in Los Angeles though a portal. They are immediately harassed by a gang of street toughs as they walk through Skid Row. Barbie holds her own against the mob with a sharpened high heel. The Beta Ken is no match for the street people and it looks as though this may be the end for the dynamic duo. Just when all hope is lost, Hetfield aka GI Joe comes driving in with guns a blazing and “Seek & Destroy” blasting from the car stereo.
GI Joe saves the day as he drives down Main Street in an Adventure Team Jeep running over the bad guys. He jumps out loaded for bear and blows away vermin left and right. Joe disembowels one evil doer and ties up another with the entrails. Hetfield is amazing as the true American hero. Joe saves Ken from being violated by a large man named Bubba. He then scoops up Barbie and drives them to safety leaving a red river in his wake as “And Justice For All” plays on the radio.
Barbie Loves GI Joe
Gi Joe and Barbie spend a passionate night together as Ken cries in the shower. Barbie is used to the smooth Ken and has never been with an anatomically correct action hero before. She falls in love but ends up broken hearted. In the morning Barbie wakes to a note and Gi Joe is gone. He is off to find another adventure and save other damsels in distress.
Barbie shakes it off like the bad boss b*tch that she is and goes on to save the world or something. Other cameos in the movie include: Courtney Love as Meth Head Barbie, Zakk Wylde as Biker Ken, Lizzo as Carbie and Vince Neil as the Yeti.
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