Iron Maiden Singer Bruce Dickinson Lands Plane After Pilot Faints on Southwest Flight

Heavy Metal Singer Bruce Dickinson saved the day when he jumped into action after a Southwest Airlines pilot suffered a medical emergency mid-flight. The pilot fainted after being stricken with a severe case of explosive diarrhea. Dickinson is the lead singer of the Heavy Metal band Iron Maiden and a trained pilot.

Southwest Flight 6013 had just taken off for its trip between Las Vegas and Columbus, Ohio, around 6:33 a.m. when the pilot had a medical emergency, Southwest Airlines said in a statement. Crew members reported that the captain had stomach pain and fainted, according to air traffic control radio. Witnesses reported that the cockpit was a mess and the pilot was found passed out in the lavatory.

Bruce Dickinson Lands Plane

After the pilot became incapacitated, the flight crew and passengers became hysterical. Dickinson, who was traveling as a passenger, calmly entered the flight deck. He took control and turned the plane around with the dexterity of a lizard. Bruce steered the plane back to Las Vegas, where he landed the plane smoothly.

Passenger Danny Kniffin stated, “Dickinson is Batman. I admit that I was scared, scared enough to wet my pants and I was weeping uncontrollably. My wife slapped me hard and screamed for me to act like a man. Bruce was calm as a cucumber and took control. I wish I had half the cojones he has. I bet they are massive.”

Flight crew member RuthAnn Gugel told Radio Free Europe, “It was a horrible incident but thank the lord for Mr. Dickinson. The pilot started feeling a rumbly in his tumbly and then he had terrible putrid explosive diarrhea all over the cockpit. The crew were covered in feces. He then passed out. Mr. Dickinson strolled in and took over like a boss. He put on coveralls to cover his clothes and went to work. That’s what I call BD Energy.”

The plane made it back to Las Vegas where Dickinson received a standing ovation from all involved. Emergency health crews tended to the captain who was in good spirits and was overheard joking, “That is the last time I eat the shrimp from the 99 cent all you can eat buffet at ‘Circus Circus’.”