Fan Devastated After Learning Barry Manilow Did NOT Write The Songs

The World’s biggest Barry Manilow fan, Robert Day, was hospitalized today after learning that his idol, Manilow, did not in fact, write the songs. 

Day has been a huge Manilow follower and President of the fan club since 1974. “As a ten year old boy, I was drawn to Barry’s style, hair and music.” said Day. “My friends were into The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin and Alice Cooper, but not me, I was crazy for Barry.” 

“All through my teen years, I was ridiculed and often beaten” continued Day, “But that never swayed me. During the 1980’s when my peers were listening to Prince, Billy Idol and Bruce Springsteen, I had Barry on my walkman 24/7. When I got married, our wedding song was ‘Looks Like We Made It.”

So you could imagine Day’s dismay, when he learned that his favorite artist was a fraud. Investigative journalist Claude Balzac broke the news that Barry Manilow did not write the songs. All of his biggest hits were written by others. “Mandy” was written by someone else and was originally called “Brandy”. “Weekend in New England” written by Randy Edelman. “Looks Like We Made It”? Nope. “Can’t Smile Without You”? Not a chance. It turns out the only hit that Barry actually did write is the insufferable “Copacabana”. 

The biggest shock of all is that Manilow did not write “I Write The Songs”. It was written by Beach Boy, Bruce Johnston. It was at this point that Robert Day collapsed and was rushed to the hospital. “How can you record a song called ‘I Write The Songs’ when you didn’t even write that song!?” screamed Day. 

“My whole life is a lie.” sobbed Day, “I can’t trust anyone. I have been lied to about everything. I remember watching Barry on the Mike Douglas show and listening to him drone on endlessly about writing those stupid commercial jingles and The American Bandstand theme. Is his name even really Barry Manilow?” (We did not have the heart to break it to him that Barry’s real name is Barry Alan Pincus).