Chicago Cancels All Murders Until Further Notice Over Coronavirus Fears

Mayor Lori Lightfoot announced the city would be cancelling all murders due to coronavirus concerns.

“As you might imagine, this was not an easy decision, and we don’t take it lightly, but we have been in discussions with the murderers and potential victims, and we were mindful of the impact that these murders have on our city and on our communities. Nonetheless, like cities across the nation, we concluded that having murders at this time posed an unnecessary risk to the public’s health,” Lightfoot said.

Sorry for the inconvenience but all murders are cancelled until further notice!

Mayor Lightfoot stated that city officials will reschedule the murders for later this summer. “We as a city are good for well over 2 murders per day. We were on track for a record year, we were hoping for 3-4 per day. We must make those numbers up. I am confident if it’s a hot summer we can make it up in 1 week.”

James Evans, whose gang is responsible for a high percentage of the city murders, said he supported the decision to postpone them. “At times like this, it’s absolutely imperative that we rely on the expertise of our medical professionals, and we are in good hands,” he said. “I guess the blood in the streets and the dead bodies could exacerbate the coronavirus situation.”

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