Small Children Given Away as Part of Oscar Swag Bags This Year

Hollywood has been giving away Oscar swag bags for years, and this year is no different. Nominees can still look forward to getting their loaded swag bags. This year, the Academy has stepped up it’s game, and is giving the stars what they really want, small children.

One of the biggest and most well-known bags is from marketing firm Dewey, Cheatem & Howe. The company gives its “Everyone Loses” bags to the 25 people who were nominated. This includes best actor, best actress, best supporting actor, best supporting actress, director, key grip and best boy.

This year’s bag is estimated to be worth $205,000, according to Tara Lamoreaux.

That includes 24-karat gold-finished vape cartridges, 5 grams of Crystal Meth, an emergency hammer to free dogs left inside hot cars from PETA, a mosquito containing the blood of an actual dinosaur, and, of course, a young child, the gender of your choosing. 

Survey’s were sent out to all of Hollywood, and drugs and young kids were the most requested items. “I was very surprised” said one Academy Executive who did not wish to be identified. “In the past, there have been many requests for cars, luxury handbags and jewelry. This year is very different.”

Nominees will also be given a three-night stay at Epstein Island, a four-night stay for two at The Betty Ford drug rehab, 10 personal training sessions with trainer Richard Simmons and a consultation with cosmetic surgeon and liposuction specialist Dr. Hugh Janus.