Brian Jones Illegitimate Children Hold Convention in Las Vegas

Brian Jones was an original member of The Rolling Stones and quite the ladies man. It is rumored that he impregnated half of England and had many children with many women. Well, this year Las Vegas will host the first annual Brian Jones Illegitimate Children Convention. 

Brian Jones Illegitimate Children Hold Convention in Las Vegas

The Jones bastard children and all of their offspring and grandchildren will all get together for the very first time. The event and expo will take place around the time of Brian’s birthday weekend at the Las Vegas Convention Center in Nevada. Jones fathered children all over the world so it is an International conference. 

The convention will feature key note speakers, workshops, live music and a meet and greet ice cream social. There will be free DNA tests done on site and Henry Louis Gates Jr from the TV show, “Finding Your Root” will be on hand to guide guests through their ancestry.

Brian allegedly became a father for the first time at age 13. He impregnated his nanny. She was a big legged german woman with a dutch accent. It is also alleged that he fathered over 37 children with 24,000 women over the years. 

Convention organizer Ruth Ann Gugel is the love child between Jones and a groupie. The story goes that Brian had relations with said groupie in an alley behind Big Reggie’s Ballroom in Excelsior, Minnesota. The tryst took place during the Rolling Stones first US Tour in 1964. 

Miss Gugel commented, “We are so excited for this convention. To share stories and meet others with the same blood and lineage is priceless. Of course it will cost you $1500 to attend but you will get a commemorative cup. Also you get free admission on Saturday Night to see the band. The band, ‘Brian Jones Bastard Kids’ consists of all Jones kin and they play all Rolling Stones songs during the Brian phase. Be sure you don’t miss the ice cream social. We are expecting quite a crowd, 12,500 have confirmed.”

The Rolling Stones

Jones formed the Rolling Stones in 1963 with Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Bill Wyman and Charlie Watts. Brian was the driving force behind the band and was a brilliant multi instrumentalist. Drugs, women and power struggles forced Brian out of the band in 1969. Jones was found dead in his swimming pool a short time later. Witnesses have stated that Yoko Ono was the last person to see him alive and she was yelling at him to go swimming. 

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