Lady Gaga Takes Dump in Mens Urinal During Bruce Springsteen Concert

Lady Gaga took a dump in the mens urinal during Saturday’s Bruce Springsteen concert in Greensboro, North Carolina. The scandal is being called ‘Bruce Deuce’. Is is alleged that the incident took place at the Springsteen show in Las Vegas.

Lady Gaga Mens Urinal

Staff at the Coliseum were called to the Men’s Room at approximately 9PM for a disturbance. When they arrived, they were greeted with a giant smelly Deuce in the urinal. Evidently Eyewitness Todd Wilchek recounted the harrowing event for authorities. “I was standing at the urinal minding my business when this vile woman pushed passed me and proceeded to drop trou right in front of all of us. At this point She hopped up on the urinal butt naked, and began grunting and howling as she moved her bowels. I could not believe what I was seeing. The sounds were primitive, and the smell was as if an animal had crawled up inside her and died”. Wilchek was treated at Greensboro Hospital for trauma and released.

Wrapped Up Like a Deuce

Gaga’s publicist released a statement claiming that Lady G had gotten some bad meat in the can and was unable to wait in the long line for the Ladies room. Witnesses however claim that Gaga was chanting “No Justice, No Pee” over and over. Bruce Springsteen even joked about the scandal while introducing his song “Blinded by the Light”. The song contains the line “Wrapped up like a Deuce”, and Bruce dedicated the song to Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga Takes Dump in Mens Urinal During Bruce Springsteen Concert

A second witness, Doug Arble stated “She didn’t even wipe herself after. She just hopped down, pulled up her pants and ran out of the men’s room. She definitely did not wash her hands. I then saw her eating popcorn later. The amazing part is that the turd looked just like Steven Van Zandt.”

Concert goer Kerstin Roenik, beamed with pride as she declared this a huge victory for Women’s rights. “As god is my witness, I will never wait in line for the bathroom again. That other was right on. Basically The excrement was an exact replica of little Steven. I think someone scooped it up to save as a souvenir. It will probably be for sale on ebay tomorrow.”